அலை இல்லாத கடல்
ஆசை இல்லாத மனிதன்
இறக்கை இல்லாத பறவை
உதிரம் இல்லாத இதயம்
ஊன் இல்லாத உடல்
ஒலி இல்லாத தீபம்
ஓசை இல்லாத இசை
மணம் இல்லாத மலர்
மேகம் இல்லாத மழை
வண்ணம் இல்லாத வானவில்
நிலா இல்லாத பௌர்ணமி
இவை போல் தான்
நீ இல்லாத நான்.
Hey people... I am very new to blogging.[:>] I have just posted a few of my poems(I wouldn't call them poems, maybe writings or even better to call them scribblings). I am open to all your suggestions,recommendations and criticisms. Please do post your comments which might help in improvising my skills. The BEST is yet to come.... So,readers BE IN TOUCH.
3 comments:
hey..kalakara...ma gudness... awesome dear....keep gng.. u rock...
This is the best poem in this blog.. Deep with emotion..
couple of suggestions -
1. When your last line is a punch line and is also the title of your poem, do not mention it at the top of the post.. Readers would know the punch line right from the time, they read the title of the post..
2. Remove the penultimate line - "adhu pola thaan".. It is implicitly understood and also wouldn't break the symmetricity (and hence poetic beauty) of the rest of the lines..
Annamalai
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